


The Lies We Tell Ourselves

by LZlola



Series: Begin Again (This Is How It Always Starts Universe) [3]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, I'm sensing that there will be a lot of angst in this series, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 13:46:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5458652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LZlola/pseuds/LZlola
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean’s feud with Kevin is definitely <em>not</em> personal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lies We Tell Ourselves

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this about two weeks ago, so Dean had not won the IC title yet. This is heavy on the Ambrollins, despite being set in the same universe as This Is How It Always Starts. I’d suggest you read that first, but it’s not necessary for this fic.

Dean tells himself that he’s only after Kevin’s Intercontinental title because he wants the feeling of a belt around his waist again, the glory of being a champion. He doesn’t want to be known as the loser who is always _this_ close, but never close enough anymore.

That’s why Dean watches all of Kevin’s matches, studies all of his movement and habits, and then riles him up only to humiliate him by throwing soda and popcorn on him.

This has nothing to do with Seth.

It has nothing to do with the first day he saw Kevin and Seth together, backstage in a dimly-lit room, sitting on a couple of crates side-by-side and talking in hushed voices like the two of them were in their own little world.

It has nothing to do with the way Kevin’s hand lingered on Seth’s knee. Or how close they were, how comfortable they were together, how intimate it seemed.

No, because that would mean that Dean cares. Cares that Seth moved on with the next warm body in his bed – Seth’s made it abundantly clear that’s all Dean ever was – and that Kevin was that guy.

And Dean _definitely_ doesn’t care.

Honestly, anyone who can stand that attention-whoring, weaseling, backstabbing son-of-a-bitch isn’t anything special. Two self-righteous assholes who think they’re god’s gifts to the world deserve each other. Dean’s happy for them. In fact, he’s over-the-motherflippin’-moon and shit for the two of them.

And it’s not like Dean’s been celibate this whole time. He’s brought people back to his hotel room since Seth turned his back on him. Moaned out countless names of people not named Seth. Made sure that he fucked them so good that each and every one of them begged Dean to stay the next morning.

And never once when he was with any of those other guys, did he imagine how Seth’s hair felt between his fingers or how Seth’s soft lips felt as they trailed down the nape of his own neck to his collarbone or how Seth’s nails felt as they dug into his hips while they rocked against each other into oblivion.

Dean wasn’t thinking about the way he’d shiver from the rasp in Seth’s voice as his breath grazed his ear or the way he’d growl from a mere touch of Seth’s fingertips or the way he’d sigh at a simple smile against his lips.

Because he hates Seth, fucking _loathes_ him. Seth deserved to get injured and stripped of his championship. For making Dean believe, for making him care, for making him so goddamn _pathetic_ that Dean still can’t find it in himself to regret the time they were together.

And he knows he should regret it all because fuck, Dean promised Seth, he promised Roman, he promised the whole damn universe that he was done with all of Seth’s stupid lies.

\- And they were absolutely lies. Every time Seth called him a business partner, every time Seth said that Dean meant nothing, every time Seth said that he hadn’t once thought about Dean – hadn’t missed him – since he turned his back on the Shield.

But that’s probably the worst thing about this whole situation – it’s the fact that Dean knows when Seth is lying or pretending. It’s the fact that Dean knows that this little thing Seth’s got going on with Kevin Owens isn’t – and fuck, sometimes he really wishes it were – just a little _thing_.

He remembers the moment clearly when he realized that Seth and Kevin weren’t just a good fuck to each other, when Dean saw them laughing and staring and fucking _ripping his goddamn heart out_. He saw it in the way Seth had looked down and tucked his hair behind his ear and in the way he had smiled that crooked smile of his, and _Jesus_ , it looked so much like Seth and him used to.

Dean wishes that were a dream – and trust him, he’s slapped himself, pinched himself, rammed his head into a heaping pile of bricks hard enough to know that he wasn’t hallucinating – but it’s _not_ because he wants Seth back.

After all, why would he want such a slimy, rotten piece of trash anyway? Why would he want someone who just throws away every fucking thing that’s good in his life at the snap of a finger just to be at the bottom of someone’s pecking order?

No. It was because Dean was just annoyed at seeing Seth and Kevin’s dumb faces together and their disgusting, over-the-top public displays of affection. Every time Kevin walked by with a smirk on his face and a bounce in his step after a not-so-secret rendezvous in a storage closet with Seth, Dean wanted to smash his huge fucking head into the wall.

And maybe this makes him a worse person than he already is, but in a way, Dean’s glad Seth got injured. Because now, he doesn’t have to deal with all the kissing in the locker room, the squeezing in the hallways, and oh god, the stupid caressing they did with their hands instead of actually just holding hands.

He still has to deal with the patronizing asshole Kevin Owens is on a daily basis, but that’s not any different than before. So now, with Seth gone, Dean just needs to focus on Kevin, on winning that title.

And as Dean was saying, Dean’s going after Kevin for making that title unimportant, for disrespecting all the wrestling legends who’s come before him by treating the title like garbage. He’s not jealous. He’s not obsessed. And contrary to what Roman – _everyone_ backstage it seems like – has been saying, he’s damn sure not making this feud with Kevin personal. He just wants the Intercontinental Championship in his hands so he can defend it like it’s supposed to be defended.

This feud with Kevin is just like any other feud to get to the top. Another fight to prove he’s the fucking best anyone’s ever seen.

That’s it.

And if he hits a little harder, breathes in a little deeper and lingers too close a little longer, it’s not because he’s dwelling on the knowledge that Kevin is the one taking care of Seth through his injury. It’s not because Kevin’s the one Seth’s holding at night and waking up to in the morning. It’s not because Kevin’s the one making Seth light up from the sound of his laugh or blush from his suggestive wink or hot from his touch.

He’s not wishing it were him in Kevin’s place, not pressing his face into Kevin’s chest just to taste where Seth’s lips have been lately, not thinking about the way his own body yields to Kevin’s just to understand why Seth would want Kevin and not him.

No, no, no, no, _no_.

It’s just because he wants the Intercontinental title more than ever. He’s not after revenge, not after attention, and he’s definitely not after Seth’s affection.

There. That’s all. Period. End of story.

**Author's Note:**

> This started out a bit differently, so if anyone is interested, the original scene this came out of is on my [tumblr](http://emlz28.tumblr.com/tagged/my-fanfic). And in a more recent development, that’s also where you’ll find some of my random writings that never made it here (including a fluffy Kevin/Seth Christmas drabble that may or may not be in this universe – Happy holidays everyone!). Anyway, thanks for reading and feedback is always appreciated!


End file.
